Revisited: The call to a counterintuitive life in our century

To leave the comfort of your boat and walk on water, it was counterintuitive. 

And remember that guy who left his family in Ur Kaśdim for an unknown destination; it was counterintuitive. 

To die for the people who betrayed you in the first place, that was major counterintuitive. 

That was only You, God, and those biblical heroes could do such things. I don't think many of Your teachings are applicable in this day and age, I oftentimes argue. Or they are, but it's just too hard, barely possible to implement. 

The faceless culture of corporate world.  The profit-oriented nature of businesses.  The competitiveness that aims to see your competitor(s) as an enemy to eliminate. Value people in high places.  Evaluate one's worth of our attention based on how they look, speak.

If you come to think of it, how could one cope with the 2 forces of abiding with His teachings and remaining to make sense in this current world we live in.


In a dog-eat-dog world: human nature
 

We're on the third session of Christ in Synoptic Gospels class with the family I've been attending and last week we touched on His teachings. 

It was made clear to us that, not only He knew how to be relevant to His audience -- a prostitute, a group of knowledgeable religious leaders, widows, you name it -- in His 100% man and 100% God nature, Christ has the perfect understanding of our human nature. 

I was thinking, if our fallen human nature has robbed from us the joy of living a counterintuitive calling, then perhaps it doesn't really matter whether you live in this century, or 10 centuries ago, or decades in the future, putting into practice the counterintuitive teachings of Christ would always have its own challenges.

We may have different distractions, different cultural biases, now in this lifetime.  It doesn't necessarily mean that the people in Jesus' era and environment were in a better situation.  This counterintuitive life we are called to remains challenging across generations.  Hence, in the same breath His counterintuitive teachings should remain relevant and applicable to any audience in any given era.

What do You think my heart is made of?

If my heart could ache so much striving to live a counterintuitive life amidst the distorted perspectives, selfish ambitions, fallen systems in a fallen world, all the more His missional heart... who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth (1 Tim. 2:4).

 









  

2014: What happens in Paris doesn't always stay in Paris

A call to be brave
I was sitting on one of the pews, the second last row near to the door. The pastor was sharing his experience to the Anglican congregation in Paris; it was the last Sunday in 2013. I could connect to what he was telling us: his family migrated to Paris from London a few years ago, not knowing what life would look like in the new country. 

The reason I could relate myself to that was because I did exactly the same thing last autumn: made a commitment to study, moving to a new country/continent completely foreign to me, leaving all the familiarity back in Asia, to enter a new journey I knew nothing of its end. 

Some 2000 years ago a man named Joseph experienced the uncertainty of following what was told to him: taking a divinely pregnant virgin woman to be his wife is one thing,  taking care of her and the holy child she conceived was another, besides he had to take them to a journey to Bethlehem for Mary to deliver her child and later on a flight to Egypt because Herod was searching for that child to kill him.  Yet, there was no recorded response of his; we took it that he obeyed. 


A call of faith
Some close friends knew the personal encounter I had that led to my brave decision of being back to school in this foreign land.  Yet I think being brave is not about being fearless; rather, despite the fear, in my personal experience, there is always a Person whose strength and calling just way too greater, beyond any fear you could ever have, along with His nature of an infinite presence -- the same God who called Joseph 2000+ years ago.    

I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.

The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.  - 1 Thessalonians 5:24

When I let her; and her.

Glasgow, Scotland
20th day


I was reading this a few days ago and I couldn't help to look back of what had happened to me just several months back; and another one very recently.  I still felt eerie each time I remembered those moments...

A 'sister' in the 'family' had put me in the situation where she let herself (and I let her) to control how I behaved towards people around me -- she didn't want me to 'touch' any of the boys she 'booked'.  She wouldn't let me talk to him, she would interrogate me if she saw me I did, etc.  Another 'sister' recently simply gave me instructions on what I should do and should not do, totally dismissed my explanation on what I felt God had been telling me.

Reading from what Bridges wrote, I guess I've let myself being a spiritual casualty.  I could 'only' now pray that He would heal me, heal him... 
I am sorry.


By: Jerry Bridges
Controllers

Test everything; hold fast what is good.  - 1 Thessalonians 5:21


"Controllers" are people who aren't willing to let you live your life before God as you believe He's leading you.  They have all the issues buttoned down and have cast-iron opinions about all of them.  These people only know black and white.  There are no grey areas to them.

They insist you live your Christian life according to their rules and their opinions.  If you insist on being free to live as God wants you to live, they will try to intimidate you and manipulate you one way or another.  Their primary weapons are guilt trips, rejection, or gossip.

These people must be resisted.  We must not allow them to subvert the freedom we have in Christ.  Paul treated the legalism in the Galatian church as heresy, and he called down a curse on its perpetrators.  I'm not prepared to go that far with our present-day legalist/controllers, but I want to tell you their actions are no incidental matter.  Their presence in our evangelical ranks is much more than a minor irritant, like a fly buzzing around our heads.  There are spiritual casualties all over our nation today because of the effects of legalistic controllers in their lives.

Controllers have been around a long time.  More than three hundred years ago, the Puritan Samuel Bolton wrote these instructive words: "Let us never surrender our judgments or our consciences to be at the disposal and opinions of others, and to be subjected to the sentences and determinations of men... It is my exhortation therefore to all Christians to maintain their Christian freedom by constant watchfulness.  You must not be tempted or threatened out of it; you must not be bribed or frightened from it; you must not let either force or fraud rob you of it." (Samuel Bolton, The True Bounds of Christian Freedom (1645; repr., Edinburgh, Scotland: Banner of Truth Trust, 1978), 220-221.

You don't have to wait... he's not coming back.

Suitcase packed with all his things Car pulls up, the doorbell rings He don't wanna go He thought he'd found his home But with circumstances he can't change Waves goodbye as they pull away From the life he's known for the last 7 months or so She said, "We've found a man who looks like you, who cried and said he never knew, about the boy in pictures that we showed him, a rambler in his younger days. He knew he'd made a few mistakes but he swore he would have been there had he known it Son, we think we found your dad in Oklahoma." A million thoughts raced through his mind What's his name, what's he like and will he be anything like the man in his dreams. She could see the questions in his eyes whispered "don't be scared my child" I will let you know what we know About the man we found, he looks like you who cried and said he never knew about the boy in pictures that we showed him a rambler in his younger days. He knew he'd made a few mistakes but he swore he would have been there had he known it. You always said that this was something that you wanted Son, it's time to meet your dad in Oklahoma One last turn he held his breath till they reached the faint house on the left and all at once the tears came rollin in and as they pulled into the drive the man was waiting there outside. He wiped the worry from his eyes smiled and took his hand and he said I'm the man who looks like you who cried because I never knew about the boy in pictures that they showed me Oh, a rambler in my younger days I knew I'd made a few mistakes But I swear I would have been there had I known it. Never again will you ever be alone Son, welcome to your home in Oklahoma

... cling to what is good.

She was standing in front of me. Crying. She's one of my students, a domestic worker. "Is there anything I could pray for you?" I asked. She nodded, but she couldn't say a word. I, too, have gone through times when I simply couldn't speak when I came before Him. Just tears... weeping. Oswald Chambers reminded me about it:

There are times in your spiritual life when there is confusion, and the way out of it is not simply to say that you should not be confused. It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through the spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you. The Shrouding of His Friendship. ... you will think that He is an unkind friend, but remember -- He is not. The time will come when everything will be explained. ... When God appears to be completely shrouded, will you hang on with confidence in Him? The Shadow of His Fatherhood. ... there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father -- as if He were callous and indifferent -- but remember, He is not. ... If all you see is a shadow on the face of the Father right now, hang on to the fact that He will ultimately give you clear understanding and will fully justify Himself in everything that He has allowed into your life. The Strangeness of His Faithfulness. ... Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? ... He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.

I've been praying without knowledge for the past year... I feel ridiculed, deluded. I am confused. I do not know what I ask, Father...

Bila kutercipta dari tulang rusukmu mengapa kumampu sempurnakan hidupmu Bila ku ada karena kau ada mengapa kau tak bisa sendiri saja Reff: Dalam teguh tak larut belaian Ranum sahaja bukan hiasan Untaian cinta gapai genggaman Yakinkan mimpi dalam iman Batasku sadari raut kodratku Asaku menari terbalut sorbanmu Lembutnya jiwa sambut nestapa Terngiang syahdu iman di dada Bila cerita tak lagi ceria Mahligai cinta merona terlena Senada iman kusimpan derita Kuatkan hati bersimpuh pada-Nya

liar liar

As I struggled to fry my long-bean-with-minced-pork-meat on a small-sized frying pan, I couldn't avoid of thinking of my friends... they're now on an MT to P. I wish I knew earlier that my business trip to Bangkok was cancelled, perhaps I could join them, so that I could get more exposures *sad* Hhhmm, but... since Jim's points are quite true, short-term MTs are just... They have to be well-prepared and organized, so that the short-term MT will not burden the locals, or worse, ruining the 'management'/system there. Most probably, I may not have a frying pan in the field, rite. So, frying on a small-sized frying pan could be a good training. Heru has a bigger frying-pan. But he has started packing his belongings, furnitures, cooking utensils in boxes... LOL. Yep, guess what, I'm moving out (again) -- hhhmmm... the 3rd for this year alone. Not to mention last year's. Glancing back... I am fully amazed seeing how God's been molding me through all of these house-removals. I like my life runs in a routine and stable cycle. Yet, since last year, I do see how He's been smashing me, spanking me over this. Amazing. At least for this time, I'll just move 2 towers away -- it's in the same apartment, but different tower. Hahahahahaha. Last year was worse. There were times I didn't even really have proper plans of where I should stay the following day or week or month. I hate last-minute arrangement. I consider myself as a well-planner. Hhhmm... it tallies with the personality tests that I had: I follow structure very well. I like it, rather. So, when I am placed in a condition without proper structures/plans/instructions, I'll get... irritated. And lost. But now... I keep on learning that my plans are not everything, they're still under His power. After weeks of despair, I'm feeling better. Pak Roger sent me an email, Greetings from Dallas! *so touched* He said that he prayed the other day for God's special blessings on me... Speaking to me from Isaiah, God told me this morning that my windows of faith are often so misty and cloudy that I see but dimly, and I mistake much that I do see.

Mission "accomplished" ^___________^

Praise be to God who works in us to will and to work for His good pleasure! The event of which I am the chairwoman of the organizing committee took place today and... more than 300 visitors came and about 3/4 of them responded to the altar-call led by Kak Pet. I am grateful for seeing them coming and attending this event... as they are my "hope, and joy, and crown of rejoicing". On the other hand, I do feel relieved for completing the task that was assigned to me like a year ago. But... Rika and Fonny keep on teasing me regarding the "prayer" thingy *.* Like yesterday night -- we went to the cinema to watch BOLT -- liked it!!! -- and Rika jokingly teased me, "What are you doing here? I thought you'll be praying the whole day for tomorrow's event..." LOL. Never mind. Getting used to it, I guess... For the past few days God had been encouraging me... He taught me from Zechariah's vision that He will always find men for His work and He will find them at the right time! Moreover, I learned from Revelation that Jesus is never an idler: His garments are never loose, as though His ministry were over. And this morning, God said that I should learn from Paul's "undying zeal for the souls of men". They remind me to... be faithful. ... to work out my salvation. I talked to Fonny over the phone the other night. And she agreed that... in our ministry, even among us, not all of us share the same "level" of ownership to this ministry. It could be very discouraging for me, sometimes. But God has lifted my spirit up... He's still working, as He always does. So should I.

Sebab itu kami tidak tawar hati, tetapi meskipun manusia lahiriah kami semakin merosot, namun manusia batiniah kami dibaharui dari sehari ke sehari.

2 Korintus 4:16

shimah

We had our first CPM training, led by SP, on last Sat. Hhhmmm... apparently he speaks Indonesian quite well. Cool! Esp when he said the word "yayasan" fluently =) Two thumbs up!!! I've gone through their family's website. Love it! And there's a translated version in some languages, including German! =)
We learned about obedience... Tough! And that "obedience-based" discipleship is the one that God seeks from us! Stan encourages us to "openly show spiritual lifestyle" and not being religious! =)

I shared with our Pastor Norman's BS group about "what God's been telling me" (he always asks us this question, in our Fridays meeting). God told me on that week, not to procrastinate =( but I disobeyed. My mind has been occupied by many things lately. I'm the chairwoman for the coming big event (this Sun!!!!!!!). Febi suddenly asked me and Wini for viewing some apartments for her family (as they're coming from Belgium on the 13th). That was really tiring and I had to allocate hours of my time after work for that, including Sunday. Not to mention phone calls and expensive global sms-es. Had it not been her, I don't think I would go the extra mile. On the other hand, I've been neglecting my works for the threatened-by-deadline applications... And I still need to entertain Wini -- she's too new to understand that everybody is busy (this is SINGAPORE!!!).
As always, God's grace sustains me... but... still, ignorance is one of my catharsical ways to cope with stress. LOL. Hahahahahaha. So, that's why I disobeyed for not being procrastinative...

i can't see You.

Kebaktian II, GPBB Sun, 16 Nov 2008

Trust His Heart

(Babbie Mason)

All things work for our good though sometimes we can't see how they could struggles that break our hearts in two sometimes blinds us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us His ways are not our own So when your pathway grows dim, and you just can't see Him, remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken

God is too good to be unkind

So when you don't understand

When you don't see His plan

When you can't trace His hand

Trust His heart

He sees the master plan and He holds our future in His hands So don't live as those who have no hope All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly but He sees the first and the last and like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken

God is too good to be unkind

So when you don't understand

When you don't see His plan

When you can't trace His hand

Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true He alone knows what is best for you So when you don't understand When you don't see His plan When you can't trace His hand trust His heart

The only thing more difficult than having a relationship with an invisible God is having no such relationship. [Philip Yancey, Reaching for the Invisible God, Zondervan: 2000]

Tetap Setia

... lack of support... A shared-burden of mine will be returned with doubts from people. Why should You trust me with Your heart? Why should You lead me to know Your heart for the lost souls? Why should I know that mission is the heart of the Bible and the basis for its coming into being? ... so I don't need to have these struggles, Lord. ... so I don't need to "think" and struggle of how I should respond. ... so I could live a normal life. ... so I would have more time to think about my own life. Praise be to You. ... to remind me of being faithful... to remind me of Your calling... to remind me of Your heart -- the mission. As I fixed my tearful gaze on Your picture (again), pardon me... for I always fail to love You... for not being faithful...

Selidiki aku, lihat hatiku

apakah 'ku sungguh mengasihi-Mu, Yesus

Kau yang mahatahu dan menilai hidupku

tak ada yang tersembunyi bagi-Mu

T'lah kulihat kebaikan-Mu

yang tak pernah habis di hidupku

'ku berjuang sampai akhirnya

Kau dapati aku tetap setia

Sari Simorangkir, "Tetap Setia" -- the album Forever Grateful

Help me... lead me... as this wouldn't be my last failure. You know that for sure.

... karena Allahlah yang mengerjakan di dalam kamu

baik kemauan maupun pekerjaan

menurut kerelaan-Nya.

[filipi 2:13]

Incarnation Application Shared by Ravi Zacharias (notes) Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at 9:00am [Facebook]

For most of us, the study of doctrine is best left to academics and theologians. Terms used in doctrinal formulations like supralapsarian, or infralapsarian, incompatiblism, predestination, and compatibalism not only leave one tongue-tied, but also confuse our minds. Many of us wonder what doctrine has to do with our day to day lives, especially as we struggle with terms we don’t understand, and principles we find so hard to practice. If we’re honest, reading and studying theology is something most of us would like to avoid just as we’d like to avoid a root canal.
Historically, of course, the formation of doctrine served to tell the story of the gospel. Doctrines are composed of the central tenets of belief, so an understanding of doctrine shapes what we think about our faith. But how many of us have really taken the time to think through the implication(s) or application(s) of doctrine to the living out of our Christian lives? In other words, is a belief something we only think in our heads? Or is a belief something we demonstrate in our lives? More important, if what we think in our heads has no bearing over the ways in which we live in this world, do we truly believe?
I was forced to think about these questions, as I studied the doctrine of the Incarnation. By its very nature, the doctrine of the Incarnation is application-oriented since it deals with the belief that in Jesus Christ the whole fullness of God dwelt bodily. The more I thought about the Incarnation, the more I realized that doctrine needs to be incarnational. Doctrine must be “enfleshed” in our very beings, just as our skin encases our bones and organs.
Another way of thinking about incarnational doctrine is to think about eating. Food sustains our very being, and fuels us for living. In the same way, as we digest ideas, they should emerge as a part of our very being, just as food nourishes and sustains us by being incorporated into our cells, tissue, and organs. In fact, being intentional about the implications of the Incarnation can help our understanding of the true nature of doctrine--as lived belief.
Of course the preeminent example of incarnation is in the person and ministry of Jesus Christ. But incarnational doctrine begins all the way back in the Old Testament. God comes to be with his people in their wilderness wanderings as a pillar of fire and a cloud. God “dwells” among the people in the Ark of the Covenant, and then in the Tabernacle. Later, the Temple became the incarnational focal point of God’s presence with God’s people.
Other vivid and concrete images of incarnation occur in the lives of the Hebrew prophets. In the book of Ezekiel, the prophet is told “Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll and go, speak to the house of Israel” (See Ezekiel 2:9-3:3). This scroll is not just any scroll. It is the book of the Law, the Scriptures, the teachings and the doctrines of belief that guided the nation in its worship of God. Ronald Rolheiser suggests a profound incarnational application for this image: “The idea is that they should digest the word and turn it into their own flesh so that people will be able to see the word of God in a living body rather than on a dead parchment....We have to digest something and turn it, physically, into the flesh of our own bodies so it becomes part of what we look like. If we would do this with the word of God, others would not have to [only] read the Bible to see what God is like, they would need only to look at our faces and our lives to see God.”(1)
Could it be that we could so imbibe and ingest doctrine, and the beautiful teachings that come from God’s word into our lives, that they would radiate from our faces? That the way we lived, spoke, acted--even our very countenance--would give witness to the truth of God’s word? This is incarnation application. We incarnate God’s word, God’s truth and love, as our lives bear witness to Him. Doctrine is lived out, and our beliefs are enfleshed in our deeds and our actions, and even in our words. As St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the word of God wherever you go, even use words, if necessary.”(2)

Margaret Manning is a member of the speaking and writing team at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.
(1) Ronald Rolheiser The Holy Longing: The Search for Christian Spirituality (Doubleday Books: New York, 1999), 102. (2) Ibid, 82.

trUst & oBey

Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice. - 1 Samuel 15:22

Saul had been commanded to slay all the Amalekites and their cattle. Instead of doing so, he preserved the king and allowed te Israelites to take the best of the oxen and sheep. When called to account for this, he declared that he had done it with the idea of offering sacrifices to God. However, Samuel immediately countered him with this certain truth: sacrifices are no excuse for an act of direct rebellion.

The text for this evening is worthy to be printed in letters of gold, and to be hung up before the eyes of the present idolatrous generation. They are very fond of the fineries of worshipping their own wills, yet they utterly neglect the laws of God.

Always remember that to keep strictly in the path of your Savior's commands is better than any outward form of religion. Listening to His precepts with an attentive ear is better than bringing the "fat of rams" (1 Sam. 15:22), or any other precious thing, to place on His altar. If you are failing to keep the least of Christ's commands to His disciples, I urge you not to be disobedient any longer. All the pretensions you make of attachment to your Master, and all the devout actions that you may perform, are no recompense for disobedience. "To obey," even in the slightest thing, "is better than sacrifice" -- no matter how elaborate it is.

The first thing that God requires of His child is obedience. ... It is a blessed thing to be as teachable as a little child. However, it is a much more blessed thing, when one has been taught the lesson, to carry it out to the letter. How many people decorate their churches and adorn their clergymen, but refuse to obey the Word of the Lord! Do not be like one of them.

Charles Spurgeon

John's mother

We've been learning from women of the Bible... and we've finished learning from Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist.
Sharing the same name, I think I should learn more about her.... =) 'Cos I'm far than faithful and... tend to take over the control from God's hands. Here's what is written about her (LIFE Application Study Bible, NIV, Tyndale and Zondervan, 1995 -- page 2123).

E L I Z A B E T H

In societies like Israel, in which a woman's value was largely measured by her ability to bear children, to be aging and without children often led to personal hardship and public shame. For Elizabeth, a childless old age was a painful and lonely time during which she remained faithful to God. ...

Elizabeth whispered her praise as she cared for God's gift. Knowing about Mary must have made her marvel at God's timing. Things had worked out even better than she could have planned. We, too, need to remember that God is in control of every situation. When did you last pause to recognize God's timing in the events of your life?

Strengths and accomplishments:

• Known as deeply spiritual woman
• Showed no doubts about God's ability to fulfill his promise
• Mother of John the Baptist
• The first woman besides Mary to hear of the coming Savior

Lessons from her life:

• God does not forget those who have been faithful to Him
• God's timetable and methods do not have to conform to what we expect

"But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her wil be accomplished!" -- Luke 1:43-45

... because you're here!!!

Kairos Course Consultation
27th September 2008

... because you're here!!!

Max Chismon reminded me to ponder some points...
The 1st challenge: What vision has He given you? What burdens?

The 2nd challenge: Where is He leading you?

The 3rd challenge: What are you doing with the opportunity God is giving you?
And the day after that, God reminded me from 1 Kings 18... to "go again seven times". I was reminded to pray fervently again for the current 3 'major' struggles... to continue in prayer and watching. It's been a few weeks that I feel discouraged, not seeking His will and guidance for the three fervently anymore.

thank You: how to say goodbye...

I read Jeff's blog several minutes ago -- you know, Friendster always sends us notification whenever our friends update their blogs -- and it reminds me, again, how I have no control over anything in my life...
Even in the beginning of this "friendship", You already taught me of how to say goodbye... to really depend on You, trusting You, and thus reminding me that I have no control over anything.
In my prayers, I commit ourselves to You, Lord, may You speak to each of us personally... even if we're not meant for each other.
I thank You for this friendship... I thank You for him... I thank You for all that You've taught me through this friendship...

thank You: trusting...

I've been sharing with Steph what God has been telling me... and how flabbergasted I am. And... she personally agrees that it's about trusting Him...
For these few days He's been telling me...

"Trust in Him at all times..." [psalm 62:8]

"... Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will by no means believe." [john 4:48]

"The Lord tests the righteous, ..." [psalm 11:5]

I've been sensing this from the difficulties, 'betrayal' and the fraud, deception that happened to me at least since last year... There is a strong sense that I must learn that I have no control over anything. I must learn to fully depend on Him. And...... citing Steph, He is sovereign, He is in control, He has your very best in mind... God is working in your life through these different things to "grow you up" and mature you in your relationship with Him.
I feel so blessed that God gives me Steph. I notice that... I barely able to share these kind of things with my peers, people of my age... Esp that we don't share the same so-called ways in communicating with Him... I recall clearly how devastated I was (early this year) when I felt despised by some friends because I truly talk with God through His Words daily to me and in my prayers...

I called Mama this morning (reaching home at at least 10.30 pm for yesterday, today and tomorrow, for the FES National Conference)... so, decided to call her in the morning.
This is the A&W waffle that I had with Mama last month... ^_________^ nice!!!

thank You: teach me...

I had lunch with JTG, Fonny, Sienny and Rika today... So glad to meet Sienny, to be able to share with her my struggle in my new job, the so-called moral responsibility that I should bear... and I told her too, how I struggled more after my business trip, meeting our business partners in Malaysia.
When I was in the midst of the talk with our business partners, I suddenly realized the painful fact that... these people do not have the passion for education. To them, education is just a business. And... it breaks my heart.
And I shared too, about our humble hotel in Sitiawan, a small city in Perak state, in Malaysia. And the humble school that I visited there... How all of those things had taught me that... I am sssooo far away from the 'characters' needed in missions field. *so embarassing* I talk to Him more nowadays, in prayers... God, give me the strength. Ajar Lisa, Tuhan... Pardon me, Lord, kalo Lisa sulit diajar... teach me, Lord. I have nothing in this fallen world, all is Yours. Rika told us about the Chapmans in Larry King's show... a lesson of faith.

thank You: heal me...

I do feel the pain... struggling with this feeling-business. I read Steph's reply just now... and yep, she's right, I began to see the cultural differences. Esp regarding the concept of "friendship". I actually compared it with a study case presented in a workshop that I attended in GoForth Conference... *isn't it funny, making a comparison with a study-case in missions field* Wow, cultural differences... I experience it in a very different way now. And I don't know that it could be this painful. Steph says that I am obviously melancholy and introspective. LOL. So thankful that she prays for me... Telling her too that in the midst of the pain and fear, I feel the peace too, came from the prayers that I had a few days ago, in my hotel room when I was on my business trip. God talked to me this morning from Jeremiah 17:14 and Isaiah 57:18. He will heal me... of the existing wounds... and of the coming wounds that may come as a result of this struggle.

Kami mematahkan setiap siasat orang dan merubuhkan setiap kubu yang dibangun oleh keangkuhan manusia untuk menentang pengenalan akan Allah. Kami menawan segala pikiran dan menaklukkannya kepada Kristus.

[2 Korintus 10:5]

Jehovah Jireh

Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

-- Isaiah 26:4

Since we have such a God on whom to rely, let us rest on Him with all our weight. Let us resolutely drive out all unbelief and endeavor to get rid of doubts and fears, which disturb our comfort so much. There is no excuse for fear when God is the foundation of our trust. A loving parent would be extremely grieved if his child could not trust him. How ungenerous and unkind is our conduct when we put so little confidence in our heavenly Father, who has never failed us and never will. It would be a good thing if doubting were banished from the household of God. However, it is to be feared that old Unbelief is as nimble nowadays as when the psalmist asked, "Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?" (Ps. 77:8). David had not spent much time experimenting with the mighty sword of the giant Goliath, yet he said, "There is none like it." (1 Samuel 21:9). He had tested it once in the hour of his youthful victory, and it had proven itself to be of the right metal; therefore, he praised it from that time forward. In the same way, we should speak well of our God, for there is no one like Him in heaven or on earth. "To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One." (Isa. 40:25). There is no rock like the rock of Jacob, as our enemies themselves will affirm. Instead of allowing doubts to live in our hearts, let us take the whole detestable crew, as Elijah did the prophets of Baal, and slay them at the brook (1 Kings 18:40). Let us kill them at the sacred stream that wells forth from our Savior's wounded side. We have been in many trials, but we have never yet been in a place where we could not find in our God all that we needed. Let us, then, be encouraged to "trust... in the LORD for ever," assured that His "everlasting strength" will be, as it has been, our help and support.