Monday, January 14, 2008

What's a miracle?

Last Sat night, I made a decision... to stop praying for him. He had been in my prayers since... end of March or early April last year, I suppose. God's answers are related with "waiting"... and each time I complained, argued, depressed, I would be reprimanded through His words... taught me 'how to keep on praying in waiting', 'trusting the Lord as He is the covenant-keeping God', etc. Dr Paul's reply hurt me. I took it as an insult. As an addition, it reminded me for pulling myself away from the risk ahead of being hurt, trampled -- at the end of the waiting. I decided to quit praying for him... I prayed, negotiated with God -- 'cos, to be honest, I am very scared... against His Words -- He's been asking me to "wait" but I decided to quit. Geez.... I cried heavily that nite... and the next morning, God spoke to me from 2 Kings 6:6. Spurgeon reminds me that "... things impossible with men are possible with God". Thus he encourages to "pleading the name of Jesus, approach Him, and the iron will swim..." because "the God of the prophets lives and lives to help His saints"...

Been living and struggling heavily in SG, I did experience some miracles in the past... but this time, I don't know, Lord... I'm sorry... I can't pursue this any longer... it hurts a lot. I am very confused... I am truly sorry if I disobey You.

"The iron did swim." [2 Kings 6:6]

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