Friday, September 2, 2011

Surviving Mode: ON

It hurts to care.  "This is Singapore..." that's how I always remind myself.  I know, I know; we need to be practical and less personal, we do not necessarily need to talk to each other, because this is Singapore.  Over the years, one of the things that I learned here is to kill my expectations on people.  Yet, I found myself unlearning it again and again, especially... today.

I enjoyed eating out with Michelle and her boyfriend.  Yay!  I liked tandori (it's chicken cooked with some indian spices) and nan (the indian pancake)...  They got to accompany me buying my first Punjabi dress  =)  Lovin' it.

The suppressed emotions I could not show to them, as I had to break down in tears once I got to be alone again in my room...  Show me, what are You teaching me this time around.  If you want me to leave, open the other doors...  I think this was the first time I started to calling out for Papa again after his death.  After almost 6 years.  

If you want me to stay, heal me... Yes, may You heal me and help me to move on... no matter how hurt that could be. 

I got to praying harder for my goodbyes... 



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