Sunday, April 3, 2011

Protector. Provider. Initiator.

Thank you for these mothers, wives...  Being in a marriage institution, they have learned things ahead of me. That includes what it means of letting (qualified/not qualified) men to lead the service.  They lead because they are the man. They lead because that's they're supposed to do.


It was never an issue for me, till now -- as I grow older, as I see more violations on the design of what our Creator gave us, what He intended us to be.  Passive men, dominating women are just everywhere.


JL couldn't believe me when I told him that I started to cry as we chat over Y! Messenger the other day. And that happened in the office in the midst of busyness!  Haha.  I told him that this is a painful subject and over time I'm still amazed on how the pain hurts me still.  I'm not sure what I'm doing to my wounds. Not handling it very well, I'm afraid.


I told him how I struggle to apply the truth I read from Captivating.  I can't imagine giving up my heart to be assaulted, to be vulnerable. Again and again. 
To always remember that I'm worthy in His sight is very much something that I need to fight for nowadays.  It is far much easier to give in to Satan's deceitful trick that I'm worthless, alone, ugly, incapable, worthless, and worthless.  But then, ya... that's part of the battle.


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