Well... my first post from my new gadget =) Yay! It's "Designed in California. Assembled in China." What a statement.
Last night we talked about seeing things that are invisible, as we are deteriorating outwardly... and we could believe that we are actually being renewed day by day. There's too much contrasting here... I could barely grasp the depth of what Paul is trying to tell all of us.
Deteriorating. Yeah, probably I could relate to that better... My fight with the medical world in the past (uumm... well, not really ended) taught me what it means of losing physical strength. But to see beyond that and beyond other losses that I had and I will have; to believe that I am actually being continually renewed through those "craps"... I'm afraid it would take me ages to comprehend that.
Yet, having said that, I know that I did not regret anything... I did not regret those hospitalizations, those injections, those physical pains, a loss of a father, even all the pains that left scars inside me.
A friend had three miscarriages. She still remembered vividly each painful moments, yet... she could say that she has been renewed through each of them. Indeed.
Maybe she's right. The tighter our holds on certain things, the harder ways you choose to teach us letting go.
As I relinquish my control over this, it hurts me terribly... And I know that you're teaching me to let go. Again.
I only knew that you know what you're doing. And you are there. Though I can't see you.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.