Friday, March 18, 2011

Goodnight, Benjamin.

I should've not watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yesterday...  Its after-effect was apparent to my headache and depression -- gotta wake up with swollen eyes... something happens rather often these days.  Sighs.

How does it feel... like Daisy.  She was sought after. Yes.  She was pursued.  Yes.  She was loved. Yes, Benjamin said, "I don't stop loving you."  Yet... she knew all along that letting go Benjamin was best to do.  She chose to marry another man; a good man, a good father for her daughter, she said.

How I wish to be born some 60 years earlier... Perhaps men were more like men.  Even a stammering king knew that he needed an ezer kenegdo... a sustainer, a suitable helper.  King George VI had a wife that supported him as he was in constant battle with his stammer.  The King's Speech is indeed inspiring   =)

I was touched then by how Benjamin loved her daughter, Caroline, from afar.  Sending her postcards for every birthday that he missed... for every milestone in her life that he missed.  For not being by her side on her first day of school... For not being by her side to teach her piano... For not being there when she had broken-hearts...

I have finally finished Captivating.  A record.  I was too much of a coward to face such books that reveal so much pain in me.  But I finished reading this one.
And I had to weep before You...  Most of my pains are unspoken.  But You know. You always know.  You know, too, how I need to pursue further healing... and that I need to learn how to fight. This is painful, Father... 

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