thank You: it hurts...

I've just returned from a business trip... Gosh! How I hate travelling... ^o^ I like things move in stability and in routine around me. But, again, I take it as a preparation for me before entering the "real field". Sitiawan, Perak -- Malaysia (27th August 2008) In the midst of the exhibition that I attended, I felt the urge to pray... suddenly I was overwhelmed by somekind of 'sadness', but I was not so sure. I entered my room after the exhibition ended -- the exhibition was held in the same hotel where I stayed -- and prayed. Thanked God for... him. Thanked God for the chance He has given that we met last year. Thanked God for... Steph, her encouragement and advices (for a 'stupid', silly like me. Hohohoho). Thanked God for... everything. I told Him that He was the One who began this good, wonderful thing... and claimed that He will continue His works in each of us. Asked Him to heal me, protect my heart and... teach me. Praying, I suddenly sang this song quietly...

Thank you Lord for the trials that come my way, in that way I can grow each day as I let You lead. And thank You, Lord, for the patience those trials bring, in that process of growing I can learn to care. But it goes against the way I am, to put my human nature down, and let the Spirit take control of all I do. For when those trials come, my human nature shouts the things to do; and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.
I thank You Lord with each trial I feel inside, that You're there to help lead and guide me away from wrong. 'Cause You promised, Lord, that with every testing, that Your way of escaping is easier to bear.
*** But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down, and let the Spirit take control of all I do. For when those trials come, my human nature shouts the thing to do; and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

I thank You Lord for the victory that growing brings, in surrender of everything life is so worthwhile. And I thank You Lord that when everything's put in place, out in front I can see Your face, and it's there You belong.

I read Steph's reply during lunch break and... almost cried. I told her how I felt that I am putting myself at risk... being a woman, who tend to be more vulnerable... I think, I'll get hurt... As Christians, however, we have a God who holds the “hearts of princes” in His hands and rules the waves and the seas. God will fulfill His purposes in our lives one way or another. He wants us to learn to trust Him----that He does the right thing in the right way at the right time with the right motive to produce the right results! If we can absorb that truth and “rest” in His sovereignty our lives will be much less complicated and worrisome and so much more fruitful and fulfilled.

with prayers...